Fun Facts and Musings - THE craziest animal in the world

Ok, so following on from last time, we have one animal thats so crazy, it gets its own post.

The Honey Badger.

Sounds kinda cute huh?

Well anyone who knows that name wont agree, and anyone thats come face to face with one of these suckas will probably go pale at the very mention of the name.

If there god is out there, theres no way he didnt create this asshole of an animal for his own personal enjoyment. (unless it was to say to satan, hey man you aint worth shit)



No Wolverine, go home.



Now the honey badger is a smallish badger like creature (probably closer to a wolverine really, and much better then the wolverine you all know) that doesnt really look that tough and again its pretty small, how much harm could it possible do?



Well lets just start with this, theres a video out there of a Honey Badger that happens upon a Puff Adder, an extrememly agressive, deadly and poisonous snake, it has the highest kill rate on humans out of any snake in Africa, you dont mess with a Puff Adder.

Well did the Honey Badger listen?

No, it did not.

It went right up to the Adder, who was eating, and took the Adders food right out of its mouth, and then sat down to eat said food right in from of the Adder, like what, what are you gonna do huh?

Now of course the Adder could have let it go, but you dont play anything but hardball in Africa, so it attacked the Badger, which earn it a swift death, but not after biting the Badger right in the face and injecting it with enough venom to kill 5 fully grown men.

Probably feeling pretty pleased with himself the Badger starts eating the Adder, and he gets about halfway through before he keels over from the poison and dies.

Not a bad effort right?

Well the Badger clearly thought so, because a few hours later he gets right back up again and finishes off the Adder, and goes on his merry way to see what laws of the universe he can break next.

You'll have to excuse me here but there is no other way to describe this animal other then he simply does not give a fuck.

or a shit, or anything.
ANYTHING.

Thats just the tip of the ice burg, remember it lives in Africa, where everything will kill you and nowhere is safe, unless you are a Honey Badger.

It has no known predators, yes thats right in badass africa EVERYTHING is too scared to go near this tiny tiny little ball of death.

It does not know fear, literally.(listed in the Guiness world book of records as being the most fearless animal in the world)

It will charge and fight ANYTHING, from lions, to cars, to elephants for fucks sake, thats like a size ratio of a million to one.

The honey badger is about 23-28 centermeters high and 68-75 long and wheighs around 15ish kilograms.
Male African Elephants are about 4 Meters tall and can wheigh over 6000 kilograms.

looking kinda scared there buddy.

It doesnt matter who the fuck you think you are, or who you actually are, you make eye contact with this demon beast and you are going to die.

This thing does not fuck around, it doesnt just fight things like lions, it kills them, if they dont manage to run away that is, and it does it in the most insane way.

If your around the size of this badger, it will eviserate you with its ridculous teeth and claws, nothing new there, but if your a larger animal it will run underneath you, and provided you have them, cut your balls right the fuck off.

Then you die from a mixture of blood loss and humilation, luckily theres no one else around to see you die in this most embarrsing fashion since they are all dead too.

Lifes tough.

They are called Honey Badgers because they sure do love honey, and how do they get it?

They just waltze right up to a beehive and stick their face right in there and eat till they're done.

Nevermind that hundreds of bee's are constantly stinging it the entire time, it doesnt even notice.

This thing cant feel pain, or fear, or anything seemingly, mercy is right out.

We're gonna need guns... Lots of guns...

Now what about humans?

If you were to go out for a bit of a walk in Africa, I'd call you an idiot.

If you were to even go to Africa, I'd call you an idiot.

If you were to go out without a gun, for every single animal in Africa, I'd call you an idiot, and that is alot of guns.

People often run into this thing, and probably think, whats the worst that can happen, we're humans, we're smart, we use tools.

Those people often lose their testicles.

Arrows, spears, machetes, these things rarely pierce the hide of a Honey Badger, hell if you want to take one down use one of these.

Yes thats about the only thing that will do it, and as a helpful hint to those unfamiliar to the territory or how to deal with a Honey Badger, the South African military named that particular APC pictured above after the Honey Badger (Ratel, the African name for the Honey Badger)

So what have we learned today kids?

Stay the hell out of Africa!